so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
