Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
