Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
