Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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