I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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