My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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