I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
