i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
