I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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