Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
