Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Randomize
