she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
