I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
