is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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