have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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