there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
