just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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