wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
