does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
