hotel room ftw
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
