Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
