Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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