How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
