i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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