The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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