I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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