I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
