so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
