He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
