There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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