wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
