he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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