Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
