He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
