Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
