Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Pooping to opera.
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