Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
