lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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