this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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