So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
