Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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