She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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