Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
