I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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