Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
