when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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