Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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