STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
