Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
