i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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