I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
