hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
