Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
