I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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